


The Conversation Piece

by Alisanne



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-07
Updated: 2009-05-07
Packaged: 2018-02-23 14:47:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2551466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alisanne/pseuds/Alisanne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anita overstays her welcome even when she's not there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Conversation Piece

**Author's Note:**

> The characters in the following story are based on the works of Laurell K. Hamilton. Characters are only borrowed and will be returned unharmed. No copyright infringement is intended. This story includes sexually explicit material including homosexual acts. 
> 
> Thank you to Eeyore for beta reading this piece of silliness.

~

The Conversation Piece

~

“Jean-Claude?”

“Mmmm... oui, Richard?”

“Are you very busy with that paperwork? I need to ask you a question.” 

“Ask away, mon loup.”

“Can you drive a car?”

“Pardonne?”

“Can you drive?”

“I meant to take lessons, but I never did, mon loup. Why?”

“I was just curious.” 

“I doubt I will ever need to drive myself anywhere... mmph...”

“You are so cute when you’re puzzled. I just had to kiss you. Sorry, you were saying?”

“I have several chauffeurs as you know... _mon loup!_ What are you... oh, Mon Dieu...”

“Yeah, I know you’re rich _now_ , Jean-Claude. But I figured you had to have been poor sometime...”

“AH! Oui, mon coeur... What are you? You are trying to distract me from these reports...”

“Yeah, is it working?”

“Oui! I cannot think when you do tha... oh, dear God... where did you learn _that?_ ”

“Mmm? Kinda fun huh? I saw some pictures on the internet... mmmmh!”

“I... I had not thought that you could surprise me mon loup, but you are managing to...” *gasp*

“Why? I just thought that it would be fun to lick you there. They call it rimming, apparently... Don’t you like it?”

“Mon chere, of course I _like_ it... mmmm. It was just... surprising. I have not done this with you because I was not sure you would like it, mon loup.” 

“Mmmm what’s not to like...?” 

“Oui, as you say, very good... Oh... merde...”

“..............”

“Why are you stopping, Richard? Please do not stop... Ahhhh!”

“Sorry, had to move your pants down, better access y’know?”

“Mmmmm... oui, much better.”

“You comfortable now?”

“Mmmm, less talking, more licking....”

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of that.” *chuckle*

“Ahhh. Yes THAT is quite good....”

“............”

“Mon Dieu, how did I miss how talented your tongue is...?”

“Mmmmmm....”

“.............”

“This seems to be a sensitive place for you.... How about I do this...” 

“.........”

“Ouch!”

“Mon Loup! Oh, your poor head!”

“Did someone move your desk, Jean-Claude?”

“Non, I do not believe so.”

“That’s never happened before.”

“Let me rub your head, mon loup.... There, is it better now?”

“Mmmm, yeah... maybe if you kissed it....”

“I think I can manage that.”

“........”

“There? Better now?”

“Uh huh, much. Maybe you should join me on the rug?”

“Well, I think I can manage that... argh!!”

“What? What happened... Oh, damn.”

“Why is there a wooden stake here, mon loup?”

“How should I know? It’s _your_ office...”

“In fact, why is there a wooden stake _anywhere_ in my domain?”

“ _Domain?”_

“Dwelling. Domicile. In my HOME. Why?”

“Oh... yeah, I see your point.”

“Hah, very funny, Richard. _Who_ has been in here?”

“Maybe it was Anita’s from when she used to hang out here?”

*angry glare*“Well, that is a good way to kill the mood, mon loup. Mention Anita.”

“Aww, c’mon Jean-Claude. There! I got rid of it. Now, where were we?”

*chilly tone*“I was trying to do some paperwork, mon loup.”

“Don’t let her spoil our mood. Just pretend that I never mentioned her.”

“Is that not like the proverbial pink hippopotamus Richard?”

“Pink hippopotamus? Oh! You mean pink elephant?”

“Whatever large African land animal you refer to when something is topmost in your mind, but everyone is ignoring it.”

“Yeah, that’s pink elephant, Jean-Claude, and let’s not let her put us off. I mean she’s probably doing it with Micah right now.”

“Wonderful! Just the visual I needed. I shall not be able to be aroused for the rest of the day at this rate.”

“I can help with that, I promise, Jean-Claude.”

*archly* “Oh? Well, I believe I will need a demonstration, mon loup...”

“Well then, let me get the lube.” *searching* “Ok here it is, Let me rub it on.” 

“......”

“It’s creamy, but it feels weird...”

“Let me see... Argh! THAT is not the lube!”

“Oops, you’re right. It’s - yuck! It’s Monistat “for the treatment of vaginal yeast infections”! Shit, I just put that on your....”

“Oui, on my cock!”

“Well, c’mon Jean-Claude, let’s take a shower and get your slutty ex-girlfriend’s crotch creme off.”

“ _MY_ slutty ex-girlfriend?”

*smirk* “Ok, _OUR_ slutty ex-girlfriend.”

*snort* “Very well. Lead on, mon loup....”

“And the bathroom is probably free from stakes, I imagine.” 

“One can only hope...”

~Fin


End file.
